The monsoon, the crack house and the deer.

Last year I took a trip to Vegas with my brother and on the way I was going to do two gigs one in Shelby, wy and one in Colby, wy then it was off to Vegas on the way back I was going to do one gig in Malta, mt then head home on the road for seven days sounds easy enough well here comes the insanity.





Day One: Me and my brother decide to get a jump on our trip we will leave in the middle of the night and hit every casino on the way taking turns sleeping well we are on the road for 6 minutes and cue the hardest most violent rain storm every we keep going it takes 3 hours to make it 90 miles we make it to our first stop and rest for a bit. That was the first 3 hours and it gets way worse.

Day Two: The rain stops and we make some good time stop at deadwood and some other places it is a nice day we pull into Shelby, wy. We find our hotel provided by the comedy venue. I have had to stay at some bad hotels this one looked liked Lewis and Clark banged some prairie hoes in there in 1880. Spiders on the walls some one was murdered in the bathroom the room smelled like big foots dick lets say my brother was not happy he refused to sleep in the room so he slept in the car. At about 3am the police were knocking on his window asking him why he was sleeping in the car if he had a hotel room he just answered it's gross and went back to sleep, around 7am he showered at walmart and by showered I mean washed his balls in the bathroom with baby wipes.



Day three: On the road early after I showered with shoes and socks on and kissed the homeless guy goodbye who was living in the closet. After my show in Colby we decide to drive through the night again bad idea I fell asleep right away and my bro took truckers speed to stay awake when I woke up he so wired if he farted he would have flown out the window. I realized real quick we have a flat tire we get the spare on and the book says only go 50 miles and never exceed 60 miles an hour so here we are going 85 miles an hour and we have gone 100 miles so we are shitting cats looking for a tire place, luckily we find one get it fixed back on the road in 2 hours.





Day four - six: Vegas had a blast!!




Day seven: Do my show in Malta and decide to leave in the middle of the night quick tip never ever drive through Montana in the middle of the night we saw a hundred deer and it freaked us out so my brother and I decide we will flash our lights and honk our horn when we see a deer and that will keep them away we are idiots. So i guess honking the horn means "hey deer come run into my car" cause that is what happened we nailed a 12 point buck at 50 miles an hour and only lost the side mirror no shit we still don't know how we pulled that off. We sat at the next gas station looked over the car and soaked in all that had happened to us we laughed and decided as we climbed back into the car that maybe with all the bad things that had happened in the last seven days maybe we were quite lucky..... just then my brother backed into a light pole and we kept our mouths shut the rest of the way home.

that was all true......chat again soon chubby!!!